Chris Crucial: Kristi Noem just murdered her VP chances 🔫

PLUS: We might have debates!

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1. Noem murders puppy: In her soon-to-be-released book, South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem recounts how she shot and killed a 14-month old family dog because the puppy was, er, unruly.

Cricket, the dog, didn’t behave. It killed a family’s chickens. The dog was like a “trained assassin,” according to Noem.

She describes Cricket as “untrainable”, “dangerous to anyone she came in contact with” and “less than worthless … as a hunting dog.”

So, er, she killed it.

Noem dragged the dog to a gravel pit and shot it dead. “It was not a pleasant job,” she writes, “but it had to be done. And after it was over, I realized another unpleasant job needed to be done.”

The other unpleasant job? Killing a male goat that chased her kids and knocked them down. Again, Noem dragged the animal to the gravel pit and shot — but the goat jumped and was only wounded. Noem went back to her truck, got another shell and went back to the gravel pit to finish off the job.

“I guess if I were a better politician I wouldn’t tell the story here,” Noem concluded.

Ya think?

Look. When Noem did an informercial advertising her new smile thanks to a dentist in Texas, I thought “Well, that’s kind of odd.” Especially since she is in on most peoples’ shortlists to be Donald Trump’s vice presidential pick.

But, this? Like why would you ever admit to killing a dog — because it, well, acted like a dog 00 if you wanted to be picked to share a national political ticket?

Noem tried to cast the immediate outrage caused by the story as an example of the liberal media not understanding farm life — or something.

But, like, putting old horses down is totally a thing. Killing a puppy because it acted like a puppy feels, er, different? Like wouldn’t you look to donate the dog to a shelter or maybe another family? Or lots of options that don’t involve shooting it in the head?