It's my birthday. I got you a present. 🎁

49!!

(My high school graduation picture)

I am 49 years old today.

I share this birthday with Mitch McConnell. (He’s 83). Rihanna. (She’s 37). Charles Barkley. (He’s 62.) Josh Sargent. (He’s 25.) And Trevor Noah. (He’s 41.)

To be honest, 49 is sort of a weird birthday. It’s the purgatory of birthdays. Like, you are almost to the big 5-0 — with all of its importance (half century!) and implications (I am getting old!). But not quite there yet.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve been less and less inclined to make a big deal out of my birthday — especially since my older son’s birthday (he’s 16 this year!) is on February 24.

The desire for a big celebration has been replaced by an increased introspection on my birthday: Where I’ve been, where I am and where I’m going.

I wrote a big piece when I turned 45 about how I thought I would have figured it all out by then and, well, hadn’t. As I wrote four year ago today:

So, I haven’t figured much of anything out. I still get angry over dumb things. I still get jealous of others’ successes. I still lose my temper with my kids and my wife. I still wonder — now more than ever — if the choices I have made in my previous 44 years were the right ones.

The one thing this year — and all of the thinking I’ve done in it — has taught me (or re-taught me) is this: You never, really, figure it all out. It’s just not possible. Life isn’t a code that you crack. Or a tough crossword puzzle clue that you eventually think of the answer to.

Life is a process. It’s a question that, if and when you figure out the answer, poses 50 more. I don’t think with age comes wisdom. I think with age comes the realization that you’re never going to figure it all out. And so, you try to be thankful for the small questions you get answers to.

This part still rings true to me: “You never, really, figure it all out. It’s just not possible. Life isn’t a code that you crack. Or a tough crossword puzzle clue that you eventually think of the answer to.”

And, little did I know when I wrote that piece that over the next four years I would lose my father in law and lose my job — two events that made me question just about everything in my life.

But, the honest truth is that I feel more comfortable in my skin on this birthday than I have in a long time. And that’s thanks to all of you.

My journey, which I’ve documented through this newsletter, has led me to a career as an INC (Independent News Creator). It’s reminded me how much I love writing and talking about politics. It’s renewed my confidence in my abilities to make a product that people not only like but are willing to invest in. It’s helped me realize how focused I was on climbing the legacy media ladder — and how that was eroding who I really was. It’s made me a better husband. A better dad.

I am, quite simply, happier than I have been in a long time. (Not every minute of every day, of course! But most of the time!)

And, for that, I want to say thank you to each and every one of you. Whether you are a free or a paid or even a founding subscriber. Whether you subscribe to my YouTube channel. Whether you follow me on X or Blue Sky or Instagram or TikTok. Or watch “Politics Aside.”

But I wanted to more than just say “thanks.” I wanted to give you a little present! So, between now and midnight tonight (when it is no longer my birthday), I am discounting paid subscriptions to this newsletter by 20%.

You can become a paid subscriber for just $5 a month or $50 for the whole year. (If you need to know what you get as a paid or a founding member, read this.) The deal only lasts until midnight! So jump on it!