It's time to end the home run derby

I'm sorry. But it's true.

(Vladimir Guerrero Jr. won this year’s home run derby)

I love baseball.

Which is why I think the time has come to end the home run derby.

I watched damn near the entire event on Monday night — more on that in a minute — and have some thoughts on where it’s gone wrong.

1. It takes too damn long. This year there were eight participants and three rounds of home run hitting. By the time 10 pm on the east coast rolled around, it was still going on. It’s just too much. Cut it down to four people — two from each league. Instead of giving them 3 minutes — plus bonus time — to hit home runs, make it 15 swings. Or you’re out after three swings and misses. Or three balls that aren’t home runs. Or 20 total pitches. Just do something to make it all go faster. Please.

2. You can’t see the balls. The rapid-fire nature of the way the competition has evolved — the pitcher is slinging balls up there as fast as he can — makes it literally unwatchable on television. One of the great joys of watching a home run — either live or on TV — is to follow the flight of the ball as it soars over the fence. That’s especially true when someone really gets into one. I mean, there were guys on Monday night hitting the ball 460+ feet — and you never even got to see where the ball landed or what it looked like in the air because they were already on to the next pitch. There has to be a better viewing experience than this.

3. The best of the best don’t participate. As I said, I am a baseball fan. But I didn’t know half of the guys participating in this year’s home run derby. Shohei Otani, the biggest star in the game — and the guy leading major league baseball in home runs — didn’t participate. Neither did the guy with the 2nd most home runs (Matt Olson of the Braves). Mookie Betts, one of the best all-around players in baseball, did take part in the derby this year but spent the week leading up to it pooh-poohing his chances and openly wondering why he was participating. I fear that the home run derby is headed the way of the NBA Slam Dunk competition — a once great event that is now populated by people no one has ever heard of because the big guns are worried about embarrassing themselves or hurting their #brands by participating. I mean a G-League guy won the Slam Dunk contest this year! (Admittedly, it was Mac McClung who went to our nation’s best university.)

What could Major League Baseball do at the all star break instead? I’m glad you asked!

1. Bunt competition. The Korean professional baseball league already does this — and it rocks.

   It’s surprisingly exciting to see which ring the ball winds up in — and how many points it awards the bunter. One obvious change: You need a pitcher throwing 95 mph + — so that laying the bunts down is enough of a challenge. Bunting lobs doesn’t interest me.

2. Speed around the bases. Everybody loves to watch speed on display. So how about we do a race around the bases? Every participant starts in the batters box and is timed for how fast they can make it around all four bases. Top time wins. Tell me you wouldn’t watch this. And that players wouldn’t want to participate.

3. Fastest pitch. Ever see that stat on some random outfielder whose throw home was 96 mph? Let’s give those guys a chance to shine. Let position players take the mound and get a speed gun out to track who throws hardest.

4. Furthest throw. Remember when Trevor Bauer did this?

   It was sort of insane, right? But also wildly entertaining. Who knew he could throw the ball over the center field fence from the pitcher’s mound? I watched that clip like 20 times just to see where the ball landed. What if you had players just throw the ball as far as they could and measured it? Wouldn’t it be cool if you learned that some dude in Major League Baseball could throw the ball 400 feet? We already have a blueprint for this in the longest drive competition in golf. Just use that format but for baseball!

5. Home run robbers. Know what’s more exciting than a home run? When an outfielder leaps over the fence to rob a home run! Set up a machine that shoots ball right to the edge of the wall — and see who can bring back the most homers. Give them each 5 (or 10) chances.

I would watch the hell out of all of those competitions. And I think all of them would do at least much to engage the casual baseball fan as the current iteration of the home run derby.

Let me be clear here: I love watching home runs. It is a uniquely captivating moment in the sport. (Also, chicks dig the long ball.) Which is why the dulling-down of the home run derby is so concerning to me. We’ve made home run hitting just another commodity — rather than the remarkable achievement it is (round ball, round bat etc.).

Either drastically reform the home run derby or just be done with it. As it stands, it’s an event that denigrates rather than celebrates the act of hitting a baseball very hard and very far.