Learning to go slow(er)

It's harder than it looks

Congress is out of session. The presidential candidates are, by and large, behind closed doors raising money ahead of the June 30 deadline. Summer is in full swing.

Politics is, in a word, slow.

Which has always been a problem for me.

See, I haven’t liked slow news weeks in the past. Because I have always felt the need to produce content — lots and lots of content — slow news weeks have felt like a nightmare.

Same expectations but less material to write on. It always gave me a stomach ache.

Plus, the more time I had — not writing — the more time I had to think, another bad thing for me. I would reflect, usually negatively, on the state of my career — what I was doing wrong and how I needed to improve.

And, during those times, I felt myself always on the lookout to stay relevant — afraid that being off of peoples’ computer (or TV) screens, even for a few days was a very bad thing indeed.

I am trying to change a lot about my life these days — and the ability to just sit in some slowness is one of the big ones.

This week — and it’s only Wednesday — has been a real challenge. Yes, there’s been some news in the political world — Kevin McCarthy’s latest capitulation, for example— but, by and large, it’s been quiet.

I have debated (and debated) what to do. I have pledged that I am not going to waste subscribers’ time with posts just for the sake of doing posts. And that is really important to me.

At the same time, I want to keep growing subscriber numbers. And the only proven way to do that is to create content consistently.

It’s a challenge.

What I am trying to do, however, is embrace the slowness by seeing the longer-term view. Rather than obsessing about what I am doing in this moment, I am trying to see the big(ger) picture.

This isn’t about growing subscriber numbers today. Instead it’s about giving the day — each day — what it deserves. Some days may be three-post days. Others there might only be one — or none.

It is really tough to do for me. I have been on a treadmill for a VERY long time. And it’s long been the only way I know how to interact with the news — to write and write and write about it.

Yesterday I forced myself to read for an hour — just read. And today I went and ran a few errands.

Did I feel bad doing it? A little!

I think societally we are conditioned to equate moving fast — and being “productive” — with being good at our jobs and our lives. Living in DC I feel that acutely. People have two (or three) phones. They are scheduled out the wazoo. They are always on.

I was on that hamster wheel for more than two decades. I brought my laptop with me wherever I went. I would write lots and lots. And it made me feel successful. Like I was doing something. Lots of somethings.

I was forced off that wheel. It was a rapid slowdown. I went from not having a moment to spare to having lots and lots of moments to spare.

That downshifting has been challenging. I find myself — on an almost-daily basis wondering whether I should have written more.

But I am trying to embrace my slower moments now. Trying to lean into the idea that this is a long journey — and by “this” I mean Substack and life too! — and that the best route to my destination doesn’t always have to be the quickest one.

Have you struggled with slowing down in your own life? How have you dealt with it/are dealing with it?