My 5 *essential* rules for being a good youth sports parent

Hard truths.

(Getty Image/ ANP)

I spend the majority of my time thinking and talking about two things: Politics (obviously) and youth sports.

I write a whole lot about politics in this space. But I haven’t written as much about youth sports. I am aiming to fix that glitch — starting today.

(Never fear, politics lovers. Eighty percent — or more — of the content here is still going to be about politics!)

Below you’ll find my 5 rules for being a good youth sports parent. This includes rec sports but will be especially useful for parents who have kids in the Travel Sports Industry. (And, yes, it is absolutely an industry…more on that below.)

I have spent more than a decade in this world. My 16-year-old son plays soccer at a very competitive club level. My 13-year-old boy is deep in the world of both travel baseball and basketball.

While I only have boys, I have talked to loads of girl parents over the years — and have found that these same rules apply.

Before I go any further: You may not want to hear (or read) some of the rules below. Because your kid is the exception to the rule — the one who is going to “make it,” whatever that entails to you.

Read to the bottom anyway. Trust me, it will make your experience — and, more importantly, your kid’s experience — better.

This post is behind the paywall. I think this is the sort of advice that is WORTH your investment. Plus, you get all sorts of other goodies if you become a paid subscriber today! That includes exclusive access to my weekly live chat with Chuck Todd as well my Sunday email with great recommendations of what to watch, read and listen to!

Here. We. Go.

Rule #1: Your kid wants a cheerleader, not a coach

(Wikimedia Commons)

No matter your own level of athletic ability, there is something about being a parent watching your kid play sports that instantly turns you into Bill Belichick (in your own mind).

Like me, for example. I couldn’t hit a baseball to save my life as a kid. Just could never do it. And yet, when my younger son was in Little League, I all of a sudden became a hitting coach for a major league team. I have shouted — without irony or any sense of self-awareness — “Short to it, long through it” at my son when he is at the plate. I have also shouted “Throw a strike!!!” when he was on the mound.

Surprisingly enough, these critical insights didn’t help my son perform his best. In fact, it often unsettled him — at the plate or while pitching.

What I learned is this: Your kid — whether it’s t-ball or he is playing on the top Canes travel baseball team at the 17U level — has ZERO interest in your technical tips. Especially during the game. Or, really, ever. (Don’t think because you silently stewed during the game and then let loose on all of the mistakes the kid made when you get to the car that you have accomplished something.)

Your child already has a coach. Or, usually, coaches. Let them handle the advice-giving. It may not be perfect! It may not be what you would say! But, in my experience, kids listen far more to a non-parent than a parent anyway.

What your kid really wants is to feel supported. Your opinion matters hugely to them. Make sure you are aware of that AT ALL TIMES. Your default setting should be pure and unadulterated support. Ask questions like “Did you have fun?” or find something they did really well in the game and ask about that.

They want you cheering for them, not coaching them.

For the rest of my rules on parenting a young athlete, become a paid subscriber today! It’s $6 a month or $60 a year!