The 33 zaniest lines from Donald Trump's post-debate 'Fox and Friends' interview

Whoa boy.

When you’ve had a rough night, sometimes all you want is to fall into the warm embrace of a loved one the next morning.

And so, Donald Trump called into “Fox and Friends” on Wednesday morning as he sought to publicly lick his wounds from his debate loss at the hands of Vice President Kamala Harris on Tuesday night.

I went through the transcript and pulled out the lines you need to see. They’re below.

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To the Lines!

1. “I think we did great. It was three to one.”

As expected, Trump is blaming the ABC moderators for his poor performance. Just like my stupid tennis racket cost me all those matches in high school! And away we go!

2. “It was a rigged deal, as I assumed it would be because when you looked at the -- the fact that they were correcting everything and not correcting with her.”

It is true that the ABC moderators fact-checked Trump more than they fact-checked Harris. It is also true that Trump said a lot more things that were blatantly false than Harris did.

3. “And we knew it when it was 100 percent good coverage for her over the last month or last year, I looked at it, and only bad coverage of me no matter what.”

4. “CNN was much more honorable, the debate we had with Biden was a much more honorably-run debate.”

I am not going to get into whether the CNN or the ABC debate was better. But just so we’re clear, Trump is saying the CNN debate was more “honorable” because he was judged to have won that debate.

5. “But I thought I did a great job. It was three on one, and I thought I did a great job.”

This reminds me of one of my favorite Trump lines ever. He was asked what grade he would give himself and his administration. Most normal people would say “B” — we’ve done well but still more to do and all that. Trump went with “A+.”

6. “Now, I -- we sent you the polls, but every single poll last night had me winning like 90-10. We had C-Span at one point was at 80 to 20, and I don't know how it finished. That was late last night, so I have no idea, but it was at 80 to 20.”

A CNN post-debate snap poll showed 63% thought Harris won while 37% believed Trump had won. The C-Span “poll” that Trump is referred to here isn’t a poll at all. It’s just a question the network put up on its X account. (And, yes, 74% of people who voted on that question said Trump won.)

7. “I told that to Bret Baier, and we sent him a lot of polls and we sent you a lot of polls this morning. And every single poll had us winning by a lot, despite the fact that it was an unfair debate obviously and it was -- it was a three on one, and I -- that's okay, I've had worse odds in my life.”

Simple question: What polls? Because I can’t find any.

8. “I mean, to be honest, they're a news organization. They have to be licensed to do it. They ought to take away their license for the way they did that.”

In which Trump suggests that ABC should not allowed to be licensed as a media company because they didn’t conduct the debate in a way he wanted them to. Not scary at all!

9. “IVF, I was a leader on IEF -- the IVF. The IVF, which is fertilization, I was a total leader on that.”

“The IVF, which is fertilization, I was a total leader on that.” — A total leader on IVF

10. “The whole thing with abortion what he said -- I mean, it was incredible. I think he corrected me six times and each time I was right”

Trump repeatedly suggested that former Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam said that it would be ok to “execute” a baby after it had been born. Northam never said that. Read this on that.