The 52 most outrageous lines from Donald Trump's New Jersey speech

Whoa boy.

Taking a break from his ongoing hush money trial — Michael Cohen on the stand today! — Donald Trump traveled to the Jersey shore on Saturday for a rally that drew, by some estimates, upwards of 80,000 people.

As he does when there’s a big crowd assembled, Trump went on and on (the speech was almost two hours long) — repeatedly straying off the teleprompter to, um, entertain the masses.

Because I believe it is really important to pay attention to what Trump says (as it’s the best indication we have of what he will DO), I went through the transcript of his speech — and picked out the lines you need to see. They’re below.

This is time-consuming work. It is the sort of thing no one else is doing. I am committed to keep on monitoring Trump’s words between now and November — and maybe beyond.

I hope you will consider supporting my efforts. A paid subscription is just $6 a month or $60 for the entire year!

Ok, now to the lines!

1. “As you can see today we are expanding the electoral map because we are going to officially play in the state of New Jersey and we will win the state of New Jersey.”

[narrator voice] He will not. Trump lost New Jersey to Joe Biden by 16 points in 2020. And away we go!

2. “A great group of people with us, an incredible group of people and we are looking really great in the state of Minnesota which has not been won since 1952 and Virginia, actually many of the other states, could be all of them, it could be all of them.”

Wait, so Trump is going to win “all” the states? Huh!

3. “[Biden] is so bad, we can win them all, all across America, millions of people in blue states are joining our movement based on love, intelligence, and a thing called common sense.”

When I think of why people support Trump, “love” and “intelligence” are definitely the first two characteristics that come to mind.

4. “You know in your heart that this country is not going to survive four more years of Crooked Joe Biden, he is crooked and he is corrupt and he is incompetent, other than that he is doing a good job.”

So, the country will just, uh, end in four years if Biden is reelected?

5. “He is crooked, incompetent, the worst president we have ever had, other than that he is doing quite a good job, what do you think?”

I know I keep harping on this but how can Biden be both crooked and incompetent? If he is running some massive scheme to enrich himself and his family isn’t he, by definition, competent?

6. “With me they want bail, let us get, I will be the only one in the country to put up bail.”

7. “We will look at Biden and I am sure that nobody ever saw ‘The Apprentice,’ that was a big hit. That was a big, powerful hit.”

“A big powerful hit.” Also, the first part of this line appears to have ZERO connection to the second part of it.

8. “I will look at that guy and I will say Joe Biden you are the worst ever, Joe Biden, you are fired, get out of here, you are fired.”

9. “I'm talking about 500 years ago and 300 years ago, and they are country busters and it is the tradition that you have here that is so incredible but you have been busted by inflation and everybody is all over the country and in the past three years the average new jersey family has lost 23,381 dollars to the inflation tax and frankly, they usually take numbers because they do not include the worst numbers and the Biden price hike for continuing to bring over $1000 from the typical New Jersey family budget every single month is $1000, that is $12,000 for a family.”

This is all one sentence. It is 99 words long.

10. “Let us talk about hot dogs, I just had one, actually. I just had one, it was very good. I hope it was made here, I do not know.”

“Let us talk about hot dogs.”