Today is my birthday!

On being 48.

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Today, I turn 48 years old.

Birthdays are, for me, usually a somewhat morose affair — particularly as I’ve aged. I am preternaturally drawn to the sad side of things, and reflecting back on the last year typically fills with me more regret than rah rah.

And, reader, I will admit a few things that did NOT happen over the last 365 days:

• I did NOT crack the code on how to parent perfectly

• I did NOT drop 20 pounds and turn into a ripped monster

• I did NOT write the Great American Novel

• I did NOT read “Ulysses.”

• I did NOT become an Instagram influencer

• I did NOT get rich

So, yeah.

But, in spite of ALL of that, my overwhelming feeling about this past year is pride. Yes, I am proud.

I am proud that I am still standing (literally and figuratively) after a year that definitely knocked me down and humbled me.

I am still here. I am still thinking, talking and writing about politics. I am still trying like hell to be a good person. Staying consistent with my values. Being authentic. Telling it like I see it. Being open about my struggles and worries — and triumphs.

The big lesson the last year has taught me is that that is enough. Just being — stumbling, falling, getting up and doing it all again — is success. The only failure is if you stay down and give up. Adversity is not an end in and of itself. Learning that you are strong enough to deal with whatever comes at you is a super power.

I have not and will not give up. I believe I have things to give in this life — and I will keep looking for ways to share the gifts I have been given.

To that end, I wanted to share with you all what I am most proud of this year. This is not meant to be braggy — and I really hope it doesn’t come across that way. I just wanted to take an accounting of where I’ve been over the last year as a way to suggest — to you all and to myself — where I can go over the next year.

• I built this Substack from 0 subscribers to over 12,000 subscribers (12,215 to be exact!). I didn’t spend money on advertising or social media boosts or any other tricks to bump the subscriber number up. I grew by providing content — lots of it.

• I built my YouTube channel from scratch to over 10,000 subscribers. And, just yesterday, I had my most-watched video ever (58,000 views and counting)

• I dropped my two boys off at the bus and picked them up all but a handful of times

• I made it to all but one of my older son’s high school soccer games

• I reconnected with dozens of people I had lost touch with over the past 5 years. Many of these were male friendships that I had let atrophy.

• I taught a college class on journalism (more to come on that soon!)

• I reached out to lots (and lots) of people I didn’t know, asking them to coffee or lunch so that I could pick their brains

• I read (almost) all of the books on the New York Times best books of 2023. (I am currently in the middle of “Chain Gang All Stars.”

I am proud of each and every one one of those things — mostly because I had never done ANY of them prior to this year. And I doubted — a lot of times — whether I could do them. But, I persevered. I put myself out there, took a chance and, in most cases, met with at least some measure of success.

I want to end on something I told my younger son recently as he prepared to try out for some travel basketball teams.

I said that the success is not whether or not you make the team. The success is the willingness to try like hell knowing that you can’t control the outcome.

Failure — whether it’s in travel basketball, journalism or life — is in NOT trying. Not being willing to take risks. Not being ok with uncertainty — or the possibility of adversity.

It’s taken me a long time to realize that. And to follow that advice in my own life. But I am — as we all are — a work in progress. This year I feel like I did make some progress in that lifelong quest toward contentment. And for that I am proud and happy. Thanks for being on the ride with me.