Chris Cilliza - these are the kindest words I have read in a long time. Thank you for your generosity of spirit. The working world has been especially cruel for the last 30 years. Brutal. I admire your honesty and openness. We need more of it in these surreal, dystopian times.❤️
Chris - as someone who was laid off three weeks ago, this posting is timely and poignant. I hope that you don't mind, but I will share this with my LinkedIn network as well - many of whom are also struggling with the emotional issues of being laid off. Thank you!!
Thanks Sam! After more than 3 years working remotely, my employer demanded that I Return-to-Office... to a desk 300 miles away from where I currently live. I declined to take them up on their offer............
Preaching to the choir my friend! It's also about Corporate Finance and Real Estate. Leases for buildings that are mostly empty - or worse yet corporate-owned real estate - are a drag on the financials.... It's all about profits. When the cost of RTO exceeds the financial benefits, employers will change course. Not before.
Retired HR lady here. I have seen it both ways having laid hundreds off through my career and then getting the ax myself. Your advice is spot on. The generosity of time (coffee, interviewing tips, resume reviews) is what I remember from my professional network while I was looking for another job.
I appreciate this post, and what a wonderful offer to meet with people for coffee who have been through this! I would add that volunteering to enrich the lives of others and take your mind off the pain can be part of the path out of the dark forest of losing a job. It may even expand into a new job as it did for me!
Seven years ago, I was “fired,” not “laid off” from an at-will job working as a top aide for a Democratic state Senator who was the head of the caucus. I knew I had done nothing wrong, was never told what I did wrong, just that she was “making some staffing changes.” I had to clear out my desk immediately and move out of the marble halls forever. I could only guess that it was the Occam’s razor explanation, a Jr. staffer maligning me who wanted my job (and yeah, he got my job!) It was devastating for a very long time for all the reasons you state. So it WAS personal, and yet I was not at fault, unless being naïve and trusting is a fault. I had nightmares about my job. Not knowing “why” made it worse. A friend told me that one day I would see that this was the best thing that could have happened to me. It was very hard to believe this, but I kept it as a vision. I am a songwriter and writer, so this job was not my passion anyway—just a job.
I started volunteering singing to elders at a nursing home in my town to focus on giving, rather than my immense pain. After the first time I volunteered, the facility told me they would pay me. I declined the offer. I lived on unemployment for a year, which I was able to collect since the Senate could not offer any disqualifying reason for firing me. This was a new gig and I wanted to master it before trying to be a professional. In addition, I knew that on some psychological or spiritual level, I needed to give without expecting anything in return. This was part of the healing process for me, part of the time of transition, and got me out of the needy poor-me space. After the year was up, I accepted their offer to pay me good money, and easily found work at other facilities. I have crafted a unique and wonderful career, something like a music therapist, but bringing artistry and intense engagement with unseen, neglected, and beautiful people into every interaction I have. It took a while, but I now know that being fired was indeed the best thing that ever happened to me!
Spectacular article Chris! Reading through ( I have also been there, over 20 years ago now so I doubt I qualify for coffee! Lol ) it kind of struck me that this subject or aspect of life IS very similar to so many other negative experiences that tend to effect us in a BIG way and leave a scar that can be long in healing. It is funny that the way you have this piece laid out, I can feel the same kind of outreach we get as addicts or people suffering from certain mental health issues, or trauma survivors etc...
You really are a fantastic resource for a very underappreciated social stigma! Kudos brother!
great post. always like seeing positive vibes of this nature -- and kindness to extend coffee offer to those who may benefit. recall way back when: not being able to get an interview for a cap hill job, or even a quick meeting. always grateful for those who took the time just to meet for 15 minutes... gave me hope and the energy to remain optimistic back out in the streets
Sometimes layoffs are a gift. When I was laid off from a radio station, it forced me to reassess my goals. At the urging of my then girlfriend (now wife) I sought a job with a state assemblyman. That led to 40 years in California politics, first as a legislative staffer and then as a lobbyist.
Good points, could be very helpful to readers. I've been laid off several times over the past several decades, the last time into an early retirement. And I managed to gain at each step somehow, so in hindsight they were all good for me. Didn't feel like it at the time though.
I recall you struggled with item 2 on that list, and when you made the decision to *not* use the inaccurate word "fired," it made a noticeable positive difference in the tone you used when writing and talking about yourself. The words we choose to use when we talk about ourselves is so important, mental health-wise.
Chris Cilliza - these are the kindest words I have read in a long time. Thank you for your generosity of spirit. The working world has been especially cruel for the last 30 years. Brutal. I admire your honesty and openness. We need more of it in these surreal, dystopian times.❤️
I meant 20 years.
Chris - as someone who was laid off three weeks ago, this posting is timely and poignant. I hope that you don't mind, but I will share this with my LinkedIn network as well - many of whom are also struggling with the emotional issues of being laid off. Thank you!!
I'm so sorry this happened to you, Peter. It sucks.
Thanks Sam! After more than 3 years working remotely, my employer demanded that I Return-to-Office... to a desk 300 miles away from where I currently live. I declined to take them up on their offer............
Demanding people work in an office is all about control. The pandemic proved that employees can be successful in a remote setting.
If you need to constantly look over your employees' shoulder, you don't have a good company culture.
Preaching to the choir my friend! It's also about Corporate Finance and Real Estate. Leases for buildings that are mostly empty - or worse yet corporate-owned real estate - are a drag on the financials.... It's all about profits. When the cost of RTO exceeds the financial benefits, employers will change course. Not before.
I am sorry to read this, Peter--wishing you the best of luck in finding a new position!
I'm sorry too Peter. That really stinks. Hope you find something soon. Great inspiring post by Chris too!!
Retired HR lady here. I have seen it both ways having laid hundreds off through my career and then getting the ax myself. Your advice is spot on. The generosity of time (coffee, interviewing tips, resume reviews) is what I remember from my professional network while I was looking for another job.
I appreciate this post, and what a wonderful offer to meet with people for coffee who have been through this! I would add that volunteering to enrich the lives of others and take your mind off the pain can be part of the path out of the dark forest of losing a job. It may even expand into a new job as it did for me!
Seven years ago, I was “fired,” not “laid off” from an at-will job working as a top aide for a Democratic state Senator who was the head of the caucus. I knew I had done nothing wrong, was never told what I did wrong, just that she was “making some staffing changes.” I had to clear out my desk immediately and move out of the marble halls forever. I could only guess that it was the Occam’s razor explanation, a Jr. staffer maligning me who wanted my job (and yeah, he got my job!) It was devastating for a very long time for all the reasons you state. So it WAS personal, and yet I was not at fault, unless being naïve and trusting is a fault. I had nightmares about my job. Not knowing “why” made it worse. A friend told me that one day I would see that this was the best thing that could have happened to me. It was very hard to believe this, but I kept it as a vision. I am a songwriter and writer, so this job was not my passion anyway—just a job.
I started volunteering singing to elders at a nursing home in my town to focus on giving, rather than my immense pain. After the first time I volunteered, the facility told me they would pay me. I declined the offer. I lived on unemployment for a year, which I was able to collect since the Senate could not offer any disqualifying reason for firing me. This was a new gig and I wanted to master it before trying to be a professional. In addition, I knew that on some psychological or spiritual level, I needed to give without expecting anything in return. This was part of the healing process for me, part of the time of transition, and got me out of the needy poor-me space. After the year was up, I accepted their offer to pay me good money, and easily found work at other facilities. I have crafted a unique and wonderful career, something like a music therapist, but bringing artistry and intense engagement with unseen, neglected, and beautiful people into every interaction I have. It took a while, but I now know that being fired was indeed the best thing that ever happened to me!
Spectacular article Chris! Reading through ( I have also been there, over 20 years ago now so I doubt I qualify for coffee! Lol ) it kind of struck me that this subject or aspect of life IS very similar to so many other negative experiences that tend to effect us in a BIG way and leave a scar that can be long in healing. It is funny that the way you have this piece laid out, I can feel the same kind of outreach we get as addicts or people suffering from certain mental health issues, or trauma survivors etc...
You really are a fantastic resource for a very underappreciated social stigma! Kudos brother!
great post. always like seeing positive vibes of this nature -- and kindness to extend coffee offer to those who may benefit. recall way back when: not being able to get an interview for a cap hill job, or even a quick meeting. always grateful for those who took the time just to meet for 15 minutes... gave me hope and the energy to remain optimistic back out in the streets
Sometimes layoffs are a gift. When I was laid off from a radio station, it forced me to reassess my goals. At the urging of my then girlfriend (now wife) I sought a job with a state assemblyman. That led to 40 years in California politics, first as a legislative staffer and then as a lobbyist.
What I "need" to hear is that my severence pay check will be in the mail.
This is wise advice. Thank you for sharing it.
Chris,
You are a class act. Thank you for this reminder, for all who need to hear it.
It’s more of an opportunity than you may realize at first. Trust me!
You are the best Chris. Your offer to help others who have faced similar situations at work is a reflection of you.
LaCheeserie my friend.
Good points, could be very helpful to readers. I've been laid off several times over the past several decades, the last time into an early retirement. And I managed to gain at each step somehow, so in hindsight they were all good for me. Didn't feel like it at the time though.
I recall you struggled with item 2 on that list, and when you made the decision to *not* use the inaccurate word "fired," it made a noticeable positive difference in the tone you used when writing and talking about yourself. The words we choose to use when we talk about ourselves is so important, mental health-wise.
I am glad you are still around sharing your "unique" take on events during this political year!
Yes. X6.