To me, part of building a relationship with someone I am subscribing to is getting to know the "real" person. That means the highs, the lows and everything in between. Someone who is going through tough times is relatable because we all go through tough times. Something you may say on your platform could truly help someone (whether it be describing a low period or where/how/why you sought help). Also, since all of the 9,000 subscribers have gone through rough patches we might have insight that could help you or others. If I want surface level Utopian glossy magazine I go to Instagram. Your So What community is here for you through all of it, just as I suspect you are here for us. So lay it all out.
Your issues are much like many others suffer with. If you haven't already you should seek out a good therapist. There is no reason to suffer with anxiety and/or depression by yourself. And i think most of your readers have similar issues to deal with.
Chris, thank you for being you, for being honest, for sharing. I am sure as a more public figure it is harder to know how much to put out there but sometimes, opening up can make things feel better. Obviously, not all the way and it’s not a cure all. I,too, have anxiety and have struggled and have had bouts of depression. I also think that I have some ADHD & OCD in there, but that’s another story. I don’t think you are any different than so many of us, but many do as you said and project happiness and post all of the good things. I retired a year ago and during the aftermath of my dads suicide, 1/1/23, I was having a conversation with my former supervisor. We were semi friends on the outside of work, so not unusual to be talking with her. I opened up to some of what we had been dealing with for the last however many years. She said she never knew, I came into work each day and always had a smile, seemed happy and would never have guessed some struggling in there. I also think that with the holidays and/or end of the year, we all think about the past and it can mess with your head. For me, after losing my dad (at the holidays no less), my mom is gone nearly 10 years, I think back about all the holidays that we had with them. I miss them so much and know I am not alone with these feelings. I am now the matriarch of the family and it’s a hard thing to wrap my head around. Keep on being you, you bring a lot to this community. Happy New Year and thank you.
Yes. I want to know how you really are. Normalizing feeling crappy about life is important. And when you feel better, we want to know too. And, hey, you are the only Big to be on Chuck and Roxy's show twice!
Chris, I've developed a sense of friendship with you over the last many months, as I've been subscribing to So What (I don't mean in an unrealistic, "stalky" way, not like a "number one fan" ala Stephen King's Misery). But, for me, you have become a real person, such as could be my neighbor that I enjoy jawing with over the fence. That has been because you have shared your real self, and I have gotten value from that.
I'm not trained in therapy (though my sons are, and other extended family), but I think I have a fairly well developed Emotional IQ, thanks to parents who fostered a high value in caring about, and listening to others (and a wife who has spent years patiently training her quirky husband).
So, I can't counsel you. I can't even truly dialog with you (though I would if we lived next door and could share a cup of coffee).
What I can do is be a good and patient listener. I don't want to pry, or drag out of you more than you want to share. And, I definitely still want your take on all the subjects you right about. But, when you need to share that you're not feeling your best, I'm prepared to be a patient and understanding reader. It's the least I can do for a friend.
Chris, I appreciate these insights into you personally. As someone who struggles with anxiety, I appreciate anyone who is open with any issues that affect them. As a reader, it makes me feel less alone. So, thank you.
IMO you are keeping it real and you can tell from the responses that people value that. In reality we all are experiencing some degree of similar challenges and getting it reinforced that "real" isn't a curated version helps one keep a balanced perspective on our lives. Thanks for what you do.
I wonder how old you are and what your financial situation is and if those two factors are what's weighing on you the most. If you're financially ok, then why all the worry? Something will come your way. I don't believe in resolutions and I, though I don't know you personally, think you're too hard on yourself. I'm a senior living on a modest fixed income. I like the person I've grown into after many years of the same anxieties you're feeling. It will all work out, trust me. And not to be DD, but maybe a little perspective. A friend whose son was killed at 23 in a car accident was recently diagnosed with ALS, as if he and his wife hadn't suffered enough in this life. Chin up and good luck. I enjoy your writing.
I believe that honesty is the best policy, and I very much appreciate yours, Chris! We all have struggles in life, and pretending they’re not there or “faking it until we make it” is dishonest. Perhaps take a break from Instagram, and know that we are all here rooting for you! Is it OK if I include you in my prayers?
I hope that you have friends (outside of your business circle and family) that you can talk to and use as a sounding board. When I was going through difficult times, I found that to be incredibly helpful. And while there is a stereotype that guys don't talk about deep subjects or emotions or whatever, and just sit together and watch a game, I didn't find that to be true at all.
I do have one question that perhaps you could write about sometime. You talk all the time about your time at CNN and how it ended. But you were at the Post a lot longer (I think) and you rarely seem to discuss it. Why is that? I really enjoyed your work there, including The Fix and the chats that you did (and probably consumed a lot more than when you were at CNN).
I left WaPo on my own terms. And it felt like the right time to leave. So I don't have as much emotion over it. But I LOVED being there. Would go back in a second.
My wife turned me on (yeah, she did!) to a different New Year's concept. Instead of making unrealistic resolutions to do this better, or change that or whatever else, she picks a theme for the year. I liked this idea way better than telling myself to go to the gym more, drink less, eat better... Last year's theme was "Build" and quite frankly I failed at it utterly and completely. Why? Because we all struggle.
My wife has anxiety. Two of my kids have Depression and Anxiety. In my case it was a prostate cancer diagnosis that rocked my world. At 48, I was joking with the doctor's and nurses (totally a coping mechanism) about how I was too young to have this yet since the charts in the healthcare industry don't start trending anything until you hit 50 years old. So there I was, world rocked, two very successful options to treat it, neither of which left feeling very positive about my potential quality of sex life afterwards. I lost the will to go the gym, to watch what I was eating, or bother to count how many drinks I was having.
And just before Christmas I found it's getting worse and I can no longer wait. I have to do something. I talked with my wife about my fears and concerns. We met with both surgical and radiation specialists to go over those concerns with them and dig into the best possible outcome for all of us. I am scheduled for surgery on President's day. Nervous as hell, worried as could be, but taking things one step at a time. Asking myself "What do I have to do today? This week?"
So my theme for this year is "Maintain and Heal." Is there a theme for this year that you want for yourself, and your family?
So sorry to hear about your cancer diagnosis and so young. My husband is also going through prostate cancer treatment, age 72. He is 1.5 years into a 3 year plan of treatment, doing pretty well. However, the meds he is taking have some side effects but we are getting through it. He had external beam radiation as well as brachytherapy and oral meds. Sending thoughts and prayers for you with your treatment and surgery.
I just appreciate your honesty. It's refreshing and affirming for someone who's also dealing with some difficult things. Thank you.
Thanks for reading, Kathleen.
Oh Chris, i could tell you some eerily similar stories about my professional past, but they are almost too painful to admit.
But know this, you dont just have 9k subscribers, you have 9k *FANS* that are all pulling for you.
Thanks, Mark. I need to remind myself of that more often.
I personally waited for you to pop back up after you left CNN.
To me, part of building a relationship with someone I am subscribing to is getting to know the "real" person. That means the highs, the lows and everything in between. Someone who is going through tough times is relatable because we all go through tough times. Something you may say on your platform could truly help someone (whether it be describing a low period or where/how/why you sought help). Also, since all of the 9,000 subscribers have gone through rough patches we might have insight that could help you or others. If I want surface level Utopian glossy magazine I go to Instagram. Your So What community is here for you through all of it, just as I suspect you are here for us. So lay it all out.
Thanks, Greg. I will try not to dwell too much...but thanks for the kind words.
Your issues are much like many others suffer with. If you haven't already you should seek out a good therapist. There is no reason to suffer with anxiety and/or depression by yourself. And i think most of your readers have similar issues to deal with.
I have one! Thank you and I totally agree.
Chris, thank you for being you, for being honest, for sharing. I am sure as a more public figure it is harder to know how much to put out there but sometimes, opening up can make things feel better. Obviously, not all the way and it’s not a cure all. I,too, have anxiety and have struggled and have had bouts of depression. I also think that I have some ADHD & OCD in there, but that’s another story. I don’t think you are any different than so many of us, but many do as you said and project happiness and post all of the good things. I retired a year ago and during the aftermath of my dads suicide, 1/1/23, I was having a conversation with my former supervisor. We were semi friends on the outside of work, so not unusual to be talking with her. I opened up to some of what we had been dealing with for the last however many years. She said she never knew, I came into work each day and always had a smile, seemed happy and would never have guessed some struggling in there. I also think that with the holidays and/or end of the year, we all think about the past and it can mess with your head. For me, after losing my dad (at the holidays no less), my mom is gone nearly 10 years, I think back about all the holidays that we had with them. I miss them so much and know I am not alone with these feelings. I am now the matriarch of the family and it’s a hard thing to wrap my head around. Keep on being you, you bring a lot to this community. Happy New Year and thank you.
Thank you, Elaine, and so sorry for your losses.
Yes. I want to know how you really are. Normalizing feeling crappy about life is important. And when you feel better, we want to know too. And, hey, you are the only Big to be on Chuck and Roxy's show twice!
HA! I made history!
Being honest with yourself is giving yourself a gift. Being honest with us, your subscribers, is giving us a gift.
Love that way of thinking about it!
Beautiful
Chris, I've developed a sense of friendship with you over the last many months, as I've been subscribing to So What (I don't mean in an unrealistic, "stalky" way, not like a "number one fan" ala Stephen King's Misery). But, for me, you have become a real person, such as could be my neighbor that I enjoy jawing with over the fence. That has been because you have shared your real self, and I have gotten value from that.
I'm not trained in therapy (though my sons are, and other extended family), but I think I have a fairly well developed Emotional IQ, thanks to parents who fostered a high value in caring about, and listening to others (and a wife who has spent years patiently training her quirky husband).
So, I can't counsel you. I can't even truly dialog with you (though I would if we lived next door and could share a cup of coffee).
What I can do is be a good and patient listener. I don't want to pry, or drag out of you more than you want to share. And, I definitely still want your take on all the subjects you right about. But, when you need to share that you're not feeling your best, I'm prepared to be a patient and understanding reader. It's the least I can do for a friend.
Andy, that is incredibly kind. I think I am ok. But I very much appreciate the offer.
Chris, I appreciate these insights into you personally. As someone who struggles with anxiety, I appreciate anyone who is open with any issues that affect them. As a reader, it makes me feel less alone. So, thank you.
That's my goal. Glad it helps.
Chris, could what you are feeling have any relevance to how shitty things are in the country now? The last few years have been a national cluster$uck.
All of adolf twitlers people are ready to start a civil war over poor little Donald not winning an election.
I wake up every morning hoping the orange one dies while poop tweeting.
We have all taken democracy for granted and its demise could be on the horizon.
This worries me and the people I call friends.
We are here for you buddy.
Thanks, Kelly.
IMO you are keeping it real and you can tell from the responses that people value that. In reality we all are experiencing some degree of similar challenges and getting it reinforced that "real" isn't a curated version helps one keep a balanced perspective on our lives. Thanks for what you do.
Thanks for sharing your insight. And subscribing.
We are rooting for you! Some days putting one foot in front of another and dealing with what comes in the email/front door is a win.
Yup. One day at a time, for sure.
I wonder how old you are and what your financial situation is and if those two factors are what's weighing on you the most. If you're financially ok, then why all the worry? Something will come your way. I don't believe in resolutions and I, though I don't know you personally, think you're too hard on yourself. I'm a senior living on a modest fixed income. I like the person I've grown into after many years of the same anxieties you're feeling. It will all work out, trust me. And not to be DD, but maybe a little perspective. A friend whose son was killed at 23 in a car accident was recently diagnosed with ALS, as if he and his wife hadn't suffered enough in this life. Chin up and good luck. I enjoy your writing.
Thanks, Elaine. And I am 47 -- since you were wondering!
I believe that honesty is the best policy, and I very much appreciate yours, Chris! We all have struggles in life, and pretending they’re not there or “faking it until we make it” is dishonest. Perhaps take a break from Instagram, and know that we are all here rooting for you! Is it OK if I include you in my prayers?
PLEASE do!
Thank you. I definitely will!
I hope that you have friends (outside of your business circle and family) that you can talk to and use as a sounding board. When I was going through difficult times, I found that to be incredibly helpful. And while there is a stereotype that guys don't talk about deep subjects or emotions or whatever, and just sit together and watch a game, I didn't find that to be true at all.
I do have one question that perhaps you could write about sometime. You talk all the time about your time at CNN and how it ended. But you were at the Post a lot longer (I think) and you rarely seem to discuss it. Why is that? I really enjoyed your work there, including The Fix and the chats that you did (and probably consumed a lot more than when you were at CNN).
I left WaPo on my own terms. And it felt like the right time to leave. So I don't have as much emotion over it. But I LOVED being there. Would go back in a second.
My wife turned me on (yeah, she did!) to a different New Year's concept. Instead of making unrealistic resolutions to do this better, or change that or whatever else, she picks a theme for the year. I liked this idea way better than telling myself to go to the gym more, drink less, eat better... Last year's theme was "Build" and quite frankly I failed at it utterly and completely. Why? Because we all struggle.
My wife has anxiety. Two of my kids have Depression and Anxiety. In my case it was a prostate cancer diagnosis that rocked my world. At 48, I was joking with the doctor's and nurses (totally a coping mechanism) about how I was too young to have this yet since the charts in the healthcare industry don't start trending anything until you hit 50 years old. So there I was, world rocked, two very successful options to treat it, neither of which left feeling very positive about my potential quality of sex life afterwards. I lost the will to go the gym, to watch what I was eating, or bother to count how many drinks I was having.
And just before Christmas I found it's getting worse and I can no longer wait. I have to do something. I talked with my wife about my fears and concerns. We met with both surgical and radiation specialists to go over those concerns with them and dig into the best possible outcome for all of us. I am scheduled for surgery on President's day. Nervous as hell, worried as could be, but taking things one step at a time. Asking myself "What do I have to do today? This week?"
So my theme for this year is "Maintain and Heal." Is there a theme for this year that you want for yourself, and your family?
So sorry to hear about your cancer diagnosis and so young. My husband is also going through prostate cancer treatment, age 72. He is 1.5 years into a 3 year plan of treatment, doing pretty well. However, the meds he is taking have some side effects but we are getting through it. He had external beam radiation as well as brachytherapy and oral meds. Sending thoughts and prayers for you with your treatment and surgery.