"Now I see why CNN fired you!"

On online hate.

Confession: I am (probably) too thin-skinned to be a political journalist.

This has always been true. Which means it was true pre-social media. But, the dawn of social media — Twitter, in particular — has made it way, way worse.

Over the years, I’ve sort of steeled myself. I mean, if you cover politics for CNN during the presidency of Donald Trump, you sort of have to find some sort of coping strategy. (Many journalists I know don’t even check their mentions on Twitter. Some have sworn off social media altogether.)

But it’s actually something that has happened post-CNN — and because of how my time at CNN ended — that has been the most surprising (and bad) thing I have experienced on social media.

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It goes something like this: Any time I write something a partisan person doesn’t like — Joe Biden is too old to be president, Donald Trump lies all the time etc. — someone (and usually several someones) likes to tweet this at me: Now I see why CNN fired you! Or: I can’t believe it took so long for CNN to fire you! (It happened 7 times in the last 5 days. I counted!)

The idea being: I am an incompetent. My departure from CNN is undeniable proof of this fact. I got what I deserved.

I find this attack so deeply weird. For several reasons.

1. As far as I can tell, I was laid off, not fired. (Yes, there is a difference.) Unless everyone at CNN lied to me (and I don’t think they did!), I didn’t do anything wrong. CNN (and the broader Warner Brothers Discovery company) had to cut a bunch of costs. I was a line on an Excel spreadsheet. Nothing more, nothing less. CNN’s decision to lay me off had zero to do with my writing. Or my TV appearances.

2. It happens to LOTS of people. By most estimates, 40% of workers will be laid off at least once in their professional careers. Four in every ten people! And in the journalism industry, which continues to struggle to find, uh, a workable business model, it feels even more prevalent. In January alone, more than 500 journalists were laid off. CNN just laid off more than 100 people (again). The reality of being a journalist in this day and age is that, no matter how good you are at your job, you don’t have job security.

3. I’ve talked and written openly about the experience. When some people get laid off, they don’t tell anyone. They just find a new gig and, when anyone asks, they just say “Yeah, it was time for a change.” Which is totally fine — but not a luxury I had because when I got laid off people wrote about it. It was public. Rather than try to pretend that this was all part of some broader plan I was executing on, I tried to be transparent about a) how shocked I was b) how difficult it was and c) how I worked to get through it all. Like, I am well aware I don’t work at CNN anymore 😂😂😂. You using that fact to dunk on me? I mean, why?

Jeff Zucker, who hired me at CNN and has been a public figure (and, therefore, at times, a punching bag) for many years, once gave me some really good advice. He told me to not worry what anyone who didn’t know me personally said about me. Worry about what your family and your friends think of you, he said. Nothing else really matters.

I think about that a lot. (Also, it’s WAY easier said than done.) Because I think, at root, what people who like to remind me that CNN “fired” me are forgetting is that I am an actual person. I’m not just a byline. Or a talking head on your screen. Or someone you hate-follow on Twitter or some other social media.

I am a dad. A husband. Someone trying to navigate encroaching middle age. A sports fan. Someone who loves fantasy novels about knights and conquests. (Robert Jordan for the win!). A hypochondriac. A (surprisingly) good ping pong player.

None of which makes me immune from criticism! I don’t have a monopoly on good ideas! I don’t always get it right. I am too glib at times.

I have written things I wish I hadn’t. Said stuff on TV I wish I hadn’t. Interacted with people online in ways I wish I hadn’t.

Because, well, I am human.

What I would wish for the people who dunk on me — or anyone — for being laid off is that it never happens to you. It’s a gut punch. It makes you question who you are. And what you can be. It sucks — plain and simple.

But what I would hope is that if they do ever find themselves in that situation, they are given the grace and understanding and empathy that makes hard times manageable.

Because we will all fall. Or be knocked down. And the only real defeat will be to stay on the ground rather than drag your ass up back to standing — and force yourself to take even small steps forward.

So, yeah, I was laid off. Hell, if you want to say I was fired, go ahead. But know that the me writing this is stronger — mentally and emotionally — because of that experience. I am more than my worst moment. So are you. So are all of us.