The *best* part of being laid off

On silver linings.

Let’s be frank: There are a LOT of sucky things about being laid off from your job.

If you’re like me, you had a lot of your identity tied up in that job so, when that goes away, you wander around for a whole wondering who you really are.

There’s the embarrassment factor of people asking where you are working now and having to say, well, I’m not.

There’s the uncertainty of not knowing what’s next — always stressful for a naturally anxious person like me (and probably stressful for anyone).

But, I am here to tell you that it’s not all bad. In fact, I have found a silver lining in being laid off: Other people.

Here’s what I mean: If ever you find yourself in my shoes, the first piece of advice everyone gives you is to just start talking to people. Talk to them about what they do. About what they think you could do. About anything, really.

I was initially resistant to this advice. I was, well, embarrassed — and didn’t really want to put myself out there. I had been in a position for a long time where people came to me. I didn’t want to be seen as begging people for advice or, even worse, a job.

But, one of the truths that no one tells you about not working is that it’s lonely. And I got lonely. I was driving my wife crazy around the house all day. And I was going stir crazy myself just staring at the four walls of my home office.

Out of something near desperation, I timidly began to reach out to people. I started slow — mostly meeting with longtime friends in the media.

These conversations were largely filled with commiserating and rehashing what had happened and why. They were not, strictly speaking, productive for me as I searched for what was next.

But they were the seed of something. In one of those early conversations — and I can’t totally remember which one it was — someone told me something really important: In every meeting you do, ask that person for three other people you should talk to.

So, I started doing that. My circle started small but quickly grew outwards. And I noticed two things:

1. I reconnected with a lot of people I hadn’t talked to in a long time. The truth of modern journalism is that that desire for content content content is so high that you don’t get to have lunches or drinks or coffee with a lot of the people you know and like in the business. But, I have a lot more time on my hands these days. And I can come meet people for lunch wherever, whenever. I’ve shared meals with people I hadn’t seen (or even talked to) in a decade (or more). And what was wonderful about it was we picked up right where we had left off — shooting the shit on politics and the crazy world of the media.

2. I met a whole lot of people I had never met before. I was arrogant enough to think when I was working that I knew everybody. Well, I was wrong (I realized I had been wrong about a lot of stuff during this process.) Over the past 9 months or so, I have met people in journalism I never knew before. Ditto the business world.

By now, I’ve probably had over 100 conversations with people about what I should do next. The vast majority of these people owe me nothing. But, there hasn’t been a single person — not one! — who turned down my request to Zoom or meet in person. Or who hasn’t taken at least a half hour out of their day to listen to my situation.

It has been incredibly helpful. (I am still not totally sure what I want to do but things are coming into better focus…). But, more than that, it has been tremendously gratifying. Because I’ve learned that most people are good and kind. And want to help in any way they can — without any sort of future promise of a reward.

It’s sort of weird to say that getting laid off has renewed my faith in people. But, honestly, it really has. Silver linings!