I still treasure the days I did carpool with my daughters. One of the things I learned, especially if there were other friends in the car, was that they forgot I could hear! I learned SO much just by driving, not saying anything! Of course, daughters are more verbal than boys in general, but I so can relate! It really hasn't ended. Just this morning my youngest daughter called as she was taking her son to the playground--just to talk. Another driving conversation.
I Love that you teared up! I did too! My son was hesitant about driving and didn't get his license until he was 18. I loved driving his football carpool and then his musical theater carpools. And since we both love musical theater, we didn't always talk, but we spent a lot of time belting out show tunes in the car. 😂
Be present! It's the most important thing you can do now.
We dropped our son off at college last week (quarter system school), and this hit hard. I joke when I call myself MomUber, but when he started driving, I missed it.
You are indeed a lucky man. Cherish every moment with your son(s). As you know, life can change in a heartbeat. My grandson died as he was trying to thru hike the Pacific Crest Trail in March of 2020 when Covid was turning our country upside down. He had just graduated early from Ohio State University and had delayed a start date at Microsoft in order for him to do this long distance hike. It has changed our lives (particularly his parents). If anyone so desires please read about him at trekfortrevor.org
So while all these posts are supportive, and while I agree that you are one very devoted Dad, here's the other side of this story. My two granddaughters have been very involved in soccer and dancing for years. Our little soccer queen is quite the star on her team. A senior in high school, captain of her group. Everybody loves her. But she can't read.
Our other athletic granddaughter decided on dancing. She is headed to Orlando next weekend for a big competition. Dancing at Disney. Wow. But she's missing school in the process.
Their parents are no longer together...all those years of passing one another like two ships in the night, in the driveway, took their toll. The only sit-down meal they had together as a family was Thanksgiving. That was it.
Are they wonderful people? Yup, every one of them. (Though we miss our former son-in-law.) Have all these games and competitions been worth it? Not for me to decide...but when is a "win" really a win if the whole family loses in the process?
I don't mean to be hurtful...but there's a whole lot on the line in this choice of a lifestyle. Consider this one person's take on the situation.
That is the downside for sure Joy. Upon reflection, I can attest that this had to at least play a part in my parents divorce. We spent all vacations and time off going to tennis tournaments maybe 25-30 weeks a year. In retrospect, had I known the impact, I would have told them to scrap it all. While the impact of the divorce was minimal for me, it's always haunted my sister.
Oh, you made me tear up too!! My youngest is 18 years old and just started college and I treasure his brief silly texts asking for photos of his cat. The years really do go by so fast...
I have a 12 year old daughter, and the only time she ISN’T talking when she’s home is basically when she’s asleep or listening to music. Sometimes it can be… well, exhausting!
But I try to tell myself - and this post has reminded me - that I need to cherish this while I can, because she won’t always be at home with me and my wife, and she could also suddenly drop the constant conversation any day now.
I love this post so much! As the father of the least talkative child in the world (at least to me and her mom), I understand your "pain" and your joy. While my youngest will gab nonstop with her friends online while they're gaming, me trying to get a word out of her is damn near impossible. Usually I get grunts, shurgs, nods, and the occasional thumbs up. But that's about it.
I still treasure the days I did carpool with my daughters. One of the things I learned, especially if there were other friends in the car, was that they forgot I could hear! I learned SO much just by driving, not saying anything! Of course, daughters are more verbal than boys in general, but I so can relate! It really hasn't ended. Just this morning my youngest daughter called as she was taking her son to the playground--just to talk. Another driving conversation.
It is gift! Even on 95!
I Love that you teared up! I did too! My son was hesitant about driving and didn't get his license until he was 18. I loved driving his football carpool and then his musical theater carpools. And since we both love musical theater, we didn't always talk, but we spent a lot of time belting out show tunes in the car. 😂
Be present! It's the most important thing you can do now.
We dropped our son off at college last week (quarter system school), and this hit hard. I joke when I call myself MomUber, but when he started driving, I missed it.
You are indeed a lucky man. Cherish every moment with your son(s). As you know, life can change in a heartbeat. My grandson died as he was trying to thru hike the Pacific Crest Trail in March of 2020 when Covid was turning our country upside down. He had just graduated early from Ohio State University and had delayed a start date at Microsoft in order for him to do this long distance hike. It has changed our lives (particularly his parents). If anyone so desires please read about him at trekfortrevor.org
Sounds like you're a great dad. I don't think I fully appreciated my own dad until later in life, and especially after he was gone.
GREAT post. Thank you. It is these kinds of things that make life sweet.
Your text exchange reminded me of 13 years of coming home from school-
How was school today?
Fine.
What did you learn today?
Nothing
Chris-love this. Had similar (trending aggressively to exact) moments and feelings when my kids were his age 10+ years ago.....great memories.
Chris,
So while all these posts are supportive, and while I agree that you are one very devoted Dad, here's the other side of this story. My two granddaughters have been very involved in soccer and dancing for years. Our little soccer queen is quite the star on her team. A senior in high school, captain of her group. Everybody loves her. But she can't read.
Our other athletic granddaughter decided on dancing. She is headed to Orlando next weekend for a big competition. Dancing at Disney. Wow. But she's missing school in the process.
Their parents are no longer together...all those years of passing one another like two ships in the night, in the driveway, took their toll. The only sit-down meal they had together as a family was Thanksgiving. That was it.
Are they wonderful people? Yup, every one of them. (Though we miss our former son-in-law.) Have all these games and competitions been worth it? Not for me to decide...but when is a "win" really a win if the whole family loses in the process?
I don't mean to be hurtful...but there's a whole lot on the line in this choice of a lifestyle. Consider this one person's take on the situation.
That is the downside for sure Joy. Upon reflection, I can attest that this had to at least play a part in my parents divorce. We spent all vacations and time off going to tennis tournaments maybe 25-30 weeks a year. In retrospect, had I known the impact, I would have told them to scrap it all. While the impact of the divorce was minimal for me, it's always haunted my sister.
Oh, you made me tear up too!! My youngest is 18 years old and just started college and I treasure his brief silly texts asking for photos of his cat. The years really do go by so fast...
You're a good Dad.
Lou
I have a 12 year old daughter, and the only time she ISN’T talking when she’s home is basically when she’s asleep or listening to music. Sometimes it can be… well, exhausting!
But I try to tell myself - and this post has reminded me - that I need to cherish this while I can, because she won’t always be at home with me and my wife, and she could also suddenly drop the constant conversation any day now.
Thanks for the reminder!
Love this! I’ve got a 15 year old girl travel soccer player, so…Same!
Ok I’ll stop complaining about driving 60 minutes from Manhattan to Queens at rush hour for winter soccer carpool!
I love this post so much! As the father of the least talkative child in the world (at least to me and her mom), I understand your "pain" and your joy. While my youngest will gab nonstop with her friends online while they're gaming, me trying to get a word out of her is damn near impossible. Usually I get grunts, shurgs, nods, and the occasional thumbs up. But that's about it.
Same. Thank you for this, Chris.